Comments on misc & co.: Of Cults and First Communions

As a fellow S.A. orphan I can feel your pain and I...

2009-04-28T20:55:00.000-05:00

As a fellow S.A. orphan I can feel your pain and I hope that when you were venting in frustration I didn't come off as non-caring. I think since I have ALWAYS come in second to S.A. it was second nature and not surprising to me. Katherine is a very very wise woman when she says that your mother is the one who missed out. Evan and Flynn (because you know it will be the same weekend in 2011) will remember that you and Frank were there and when they need to be there for their kids way on down the road they will be because they learned it from you.

Oh man. I hear this. My mom didn't come stay with ...

2009-04-28T15:51:00.000-05:00

Oh man. I hear this. My mom didn't come stay with me this summer when my hubs went to Italy (I was preggers and almost due) because she had to "close on her new house." She closed on her house WEEKS later.

Evan looks adorable. I can't wait for the poo to reach this wonderful milestone.

Thanks Loosey, Katherine and Linda for your commen...

2009-04-28T15:08:00.000-05:00

Thanks Loosey, Katherine and Linda for your comments. Loosey, this is the first time my mom's done anything like this (and she's not a Boomer). Am I disappointed in my mom's behavior? Yep and I hope it doesn't continue. But I'm a big girl and taking Linda's advice to let it go. I don't have my dad so not having her here doubly hurt, but I'll get over it.

Katherine, I think your MIL's chorus bean my mom's chorus (I think they took 2nd). :-)

Okay, I have to add. It is great that you could v...

2009-04-28T13:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have to add. It is great that you could vent, but I suggest letting it go now. As someone who would give almost ANYTHING to have my mother back (even if she annoyed the heck out of me from time to time and/or hurt my feelings), try to appreciate the time your children DO have with your mother and what she does do with/for them and you. It is gone waaayyy too soon.

He looks great and it sounds like a very special d...

2009-04-28T11:14:00.000-05:00

He looks great and it sounds like a very special day! I'm sorry about your mom. It can hurt so bad when our parents fail in our eyes as grandparents. It is harder to take than them hurting us. My family of origin is wonderful, but I've given up that they will EVER put family first. The best I can do is try to be better as a parent and grandparent (when that day comes).

Katherine is right, she is the one that missed out.

Ah, Sweet Adelines. My mother-in-law is likewise a...

2009-04-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

Ah, Sweet Adelines. My mother-in-law is likewise afflicted. She loves it. She even drives out of state at least once a week to meet up with her chorus (that took first place this weekend and yes, I'm totally bragging on her). She takes singing lessons and has a quartet as well. It is her passion, but for as much time as it takes she still has other interests. She takes care of her grandmother, makes it to almost every one of the million baseball and softball games her sons play in, she helps me out all the time with the kids, and is on the go all the time. And she works full-time! The amount of hours she puts in isn't appealing to me, but she manages to do it all and be there for her family. I don't have any advice for you about the set-in-stone conflicts like school events, but maybe it is (in part) a time management issue. Try not to feel too bad though. She is the one that missed out.

Misc, I can totally understand your disappointment...

2009-04-28T09:23:00.000-05:00

Misc, I can totally understand your disappointment. My parents are very much this way. Their interests and needs come first. For example, I lived in D.C. for 5 years. My mother came out to visit twice. Once was when I got married. The second she told me she was going to be in Virginia for 5 days. She spent one night at our house and 4 nights with some guy she'd met on the Internet. My dad iwill drive 12 hours in a day to go see a bird (he's a birdwatcher) on the Mississippi in St. Louis, thinks that driving to Champaign from Rockford is too far. Of course, that's the same thing my in-laws in Peoria tell MacTroll. I'm wondering if it's just the narcissistic aspect of the Baby Boomer generation?